What Is God?

My Working Theory

What many religious people call “God,” I call “Source.” Why? Because across history and cultures, the idea of God has been communicated in so many ways—some of them deeply destructive. To me, God isn’t a man in the sky: an ultimate ruler, a director, a watchdog over human life, or an all-knowing magician who gives when the right words are spoken and takes away when our wording (or our hearts) isn’t “perfect.”

We are these threads, tethered to Source as we live our earthly lives—never truly disconnected from that one knotted ball of creative power.

Every person has the right to understand the origins of their existence in any way they choose, whether through culture, religious traditions, meditation, scientific theories, etc. Finding meaning in life is essential for survival as it provides purpose and a path forward, especially during difficult times. Since childhood, I have sought "God" and developed various understandings over the years, having been socialized within a White Roman Catholic context. In my early 20s, I began exploring "God" more systematically and started studying the Bible. At 26, I embraced a non-denominational Christian perspective, described as "a relationship with Jesus." This led me to attend a Conservative Evangelical Christian College, where I earned a Bachelor of Science in Religion and Psychology and was gradually indoctrinated into the Southern Baptist Convention's brand of Evangelical Fundamentalism. Perhaps we will discuss that journey more in the future. In 2016, while studying Women and Diversity in my Master's program for professional counseling, I began to see cracks in my indoctrination and recognized the flaws and oppressiveness within the evangelical religious and social structure. This marked the renewal of my search for the origins of my existence.

What about "God"?

Here is where I am today (which is subject to change as I learn and stay open to other's experiences). “God,” as I understand it, is creative power—Source energy that is self-sustaining, never-ending, and timeless. It is the origin of life: the collective. Not just human life. All life. It’s where we come from, and where we return when we are pure energy or in a spiritual state. It’s where we gain wisdom and replenish—when we meditate, or even when we experience a pure connection with another being. Source is one, and it remains one even as it expresses itself through a collective of entities. Each entity can come and go, living a singular experience that seems separate from Source, while still remaining tethered to it.

I think of it like a spool of yarn with many threads hanging from a tightly knit center. Each thread extends out into its own space, yet it’s still fully connected to the source. We are those threads, tethered to Source as we live our earthly lives—never truly disconnected from that one knotted ball of creative power.

What About Jesus and the Bible?

I still love the Bible and the supposed teachings of Jesus. I, however, take this book as humankind's attempt to understand and explain Source from their cultural perspectives using their unique personalities, gifts, and biases. Jesus? I can't say for sure because I wasn't there, but if he was not a chosen and sent divine being walking in human skin, he was, at the very least, a centered and deeply devoted Buddhist convert returning home to his Jewish community after a season of "40 days and 40 nights" of teaching, prayer, and reflection. His goal? To lead them away from political religion and oppressive hierarchies and towards an embodiment of Source-Creation Power as a great equalizer and unifier. But, honestly, who knows? I enjoy the thought experiment so I will continue to study and ponder it between helping folks heal from the trauma of these oppressive, unfair, and confusing social systems that we are wrestling with today. All the while, I will help other's find purpose as they find their authentic selves.